Alright guys, this is an article I have been working on…
There are so many nights that go down in #BlackTwitter history as memorable. But if I sat here and wrote about every single one, it would be a book. I’ve decided that I’m going to treat this as a series. They aren’t in any type of order because honestly, each of these were memorable to me for a plethora of reasons. Just sit back and relieve these moments with me.
If there is a certain moment you don’t see in this first installment, please suggest it in the comments.
Meet Me in Temecula
When will your fave ever? If your TL is anything like mine, I know you’ve seen that phrase so many times as people Stan down for their faves. It’s like an unwritten rule, you say something negative about a someone’s fave, and be prepared for their Stans to camp out in your mentions ready to get you all the way together. Of course, we all know how the #Beyhive stays ready to attack anyone coming for the Queen. But I don’t think anyone expected a less than positive remark about Kobe would have ended in threats to “Meet Me in Temecula” and a FULL diss track being released. We all watched the TL in a frenzy as the drama unfolded right before our very eyes. Like for real, ALL BECAUSE SOMEONE DIDN’T LIKE KOBE! But hey people feel strongly about their faves. If you like it, I love it. I am just here to watch with my wine and popcorn. If somehow you missed this great night or just want to relive the epicness, catch it below or on storify.
Bonus: Catch the diss track
Reading Bow Wow for Filth
Oh how I love when #BlackTwitter joins hands and in a unified chorus gets someone all the way together. One such person was Bow Wow, (no I will not call him by his government name, don’t nobody know him by that). Anyway though, one night, across the TL comes this tweet seemingly from Bow Wow that read: “Haters can say wut they want. I bet u can’t name another rapper-turned-actor better than me!” Now, it was revealed later that it was a tweet from a parody account. BUT NOT ONE SOUL GAVE A FUCK ABOUT LOGISTICS! All of #BlackTwitter took a deep breath and gave a resounding, “Bitch you thought!” Tweet after tweet of the hashtag #rappersbetterthanbowwow came flooding in way into the wee hours of the morning. It was as if we were saying, “Look you may not have said it, but just in case you got any ideas, we gonna let you know” Here is a round up of some of the funniest tweets from that day.
The Zola Story
This story deserves to be number 1, if for no other reason than the fact that this story surpassed the confines of #BlackTwitter and drove mainstream media crazy. I mean, it doesn’t get much realer than being turned into a film. For those of you who had to have been living under an iceberg in Antartica, the Zola story was bestowed upon us by Aziah King (@_zolarmoon) on a chilly Tuesday afternoon in October. And baby let me tell you, NOBODY got any work done that day as we all sat phones clutched in our hands hanging on to every tweet as Aziah wove her web of strippers, drugs, money, pimps and you guessed it; MURDER. I have to hand it to Miss King. Do you know how hard it is to keep people’s attention on Twitter? There’s a 140 character limit for a reason. But she managed post an entire short story and we actually READ it! In the words of the infamous Teairra Mari, “Kudos to you bitch”. If you want to read Zola’s tale, someone was awesome enough to have posted it on Storify. You can check it out below or here.
When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong
Only on #BlackTwitter can a picture of a gargantuan steak be turned into a long drive in traffic and construction from Connecticut to Brooklyn to deliver an ass whopping. I remember this night because I stayed up with my popcorn waiting for @jamaicanhoney to pop off. I love her for her dedication to letting us know that she was bout that life. She started tweeting about how she was going to tap that ass from work. As soon as she got off, she hit the interstate and sat through 3 hours of traffic complete with photo proof. Linda listen, when I tell you we all waited with baited breath for her to get that brownstone. The entire time, the other parties were tweeting from their house talking about how they were waiting for to show up cause the fam was going to bring it to her. Well turns out they were all talk, because she showed up and waited outside for them. They tweeted after she left that they were sleep. MAAAAAAAN BYE! For anyone who believes this is just twitter, check out the full story from barstool sports.
I Saw My Friend’s Boyfriend With Another Girl At Applebees
If you ever wonder who is responsible for the dreaded $200 date debate constantly recurring on the TL, I’d point the finger at @jasminenicole who, with one picture opened up conversations around side pieces, cheap dates, and snitching for the foreseeable future. People debated all day long about who was more wrong; the man for cheating or the friend for snitching. Personally, I felt as if she did her duty as a friend by exposing it. However, if you are my real friend and you catch my man doing something, I implore you to send it to my phone and not the world. I’m already about to have my heartbroken by my man. I don’t need that sort of worldwide embarrassment on top of it. I guess that’s the way things are addressed now in this social media age. Check out her tweets below!