Sometimes, we can’t all get along. As humans there are times when we dislike each other for the silliest reasons – skin color, physical features, sexual preference – then there are the times when there is no reason at all. Women can dislike other women just for being women.
For instance, one night a few years ago, my friend and I were in a popular club, minding our own business, having a good time. We had a couple of drinks, talked to a few people, got our dance on. A few hours later, we left with quite a number of other patrons when the lights flickered on and off and told us that the club was about to close.
While walking out, my friend and I were having the typical, “I think I danced for two hours straight” and “those drinks didn’t have any alcohol in them” after-the-club-conversations. As we were walking to our car, we had to cross the driveway of the club to get to the parking lot. The street was full from the mass exodus and the driveway was basically at a standstill. Kind of like I-75 South during the holidays. As we crossed, we tiptoed between two cars and continued our conversation.
There was this one car to my left that slowly inched up closer and closer to us. None of the cars were moving at this time, so my friend and I thought this was a little strange. We looked at the driver as if to say, “we’re not stopping you from going anywhere, because there’s nowhere to go right now so chill.” Ask the gods why we did this because I don’t know. That only made things worse. The driver, who we noticed was female, continued to inch her car forward and was scarily close to hitting me. My being the lady and Southern Belle that I am proceeded to cuss her out and call her everything in the book. She then put her car in park, got out and came at me. Fortunately for her she had a group of friends that were able to stop her.
She asked me who I was yelling at so I told her I thought she was crazy for almost hitting us. Then we proceeded to roll our necks and threaten and point at each other. Before it got too heated and physical, her male companion grabbed her arm and escorted her back to the car.
As my friend and I continued on to our vehicle, my friend told me that the girl’s companion had his eyes on me all night. I may have danced with the guy at his request, but there was nothing else other than that. I didn’t even remember his face.
Apparently Ms. Vehicular Homicide was mad at ME because her friend showed me a little too much interest. That’s an unfortunate situation for her, but not my fault. I’m sure her friend was on the bad end of the rest of the night, but did I deserve to be almost run down in a parking lot?
To be cheated on is a very hurtful thing to experience. Even suspecting that your partner is cheating can make you go crazy. But why is it that women, and men, tend to go after the “other person” first?
A lot of times, the other person isn’t even aware of the status of the relationship, or if there is a relationship at all. But the person who is performing the transgression is well aware of the situation. Why not go after the significant other? Better yet, if that person chooses to be so disrespectful to you and has no regard for your feelings, why would you continue to be in the relationship? Why risk the continued pain and heartache? Confront the transgressor, not “the other.”
I’m not saying that the “others” are always completely innocent in this type of situation, but we need to aim for the source of the problem instead of residual individuals.
Next time you find yourself in a situation like this, think about it before you react. But if the other woman admits that she knows about your relationship and just didn’t care, go ahead and handle yourself accordingly.